uh can i get high school credit for rambling??

i hate scary movies with churches and people sitting in the pews with their backs to the screen. the anticipation of whether they're dead or planning a surprise attack to kill you, makes me cringe and cower in my seat every time.

mumford and sons will always remind me of his face and his blond un-brushed summer hair.

the sound of waterfalls and the sent of lavender can calm me in seconds.

my bed squeaks and my door doesn't stay shut.
the reasons why i can't ever fall asleep pile up like my worries and confusions.

the sound of blow dryers early in the morning are like the call to the devil and his demons to come and take me.

i hate the word moist. it makes my stomach twist.

as often as i cry about feeling alone. i love not having to impress anyone or make small talk.
i get to stay in the comfort of my warm bed and just think. or not think. which ever is less painful.

dying scares me. and i'm pretty sure eternity is a real thing. but i wish it wasn't.

i'm a paranoid rebel. if that's even possible.

blueberry pancakes are overrated. the blueberries just ruin a potentially perfect pancake.

i'm curious as to what type of drunk i'd be and  i wonder what weed tastes like....if it even has a taste?

i hate throwing up. the acid coated throat, achy arms and disgusting desire to fall asleep on the cold tile bathroom floor seems worse than just being sick.

i wish i knew how to write poems and beautiful sentences that flow and make people cry or smile or feel something. i wish i knew how to write the real things.

i'm worried i'm messed up and that i'm disappointing my parents.

i got a c+ in math and i was pulling out the sparklers to celebrate. WTFLIP

i want to lose myself. i want to figure out who i really am.

i've been told a lot that i'm awkward. and i make people feel weird.
i honestly have no idea why.

i know i could write more. but i get the feeling this isn't worth reading.

xoxo
-Dorothy Breeze