I hate that I never went to say hello

It was a Thursday. All I remember were the tears. The crowded hallways, the kids forever affected and those who would never know.

I never went to say goodbye.

And I regret that. every time I think of her. I never believed I wouldn't get the chance. I didn't cry that day. 

just like her, Thursday came and went. Friday was inevitable and so was death. 

Thursday brought tears like rain showers.

 

The notebook I wrote my apologize to the family and my favorite memory of her made me think I could never do her justice.

 

She was sweet. She was unique. She knew life and I know that's why she got to leave early. 

I miss her smile. I miss her hair. Her jokes and laugh that could make a gray sky blue.

 

I knew her when our problems were smaller and dying didn't seem so real. 

I went to the funeral alone. I walked with caution and I was scared to see her. 

It was slightly raining but the sun was shining bright. It was perfect. 

As I reached the casket I hugged her sister and only glanced in. 

I didn't cry that day. I didn't and haven't cried about it any day after. 

Why didn't I cry? 

I miss her. 

I never knew how real dying was until that Thursday. 

-Dorothy Breeze