MIDNIGHTS LATE REMINDERS

I wake up in a panic.
 

confused and my head hot.
 

I look at the clock hoping I can finally get out of bed and escape this awful
 
feeling.
 

to my dismay, I still have hours left in bed to dwell on my uncomfortable
 
and unforgiving thoughts.
 

I lie awake, exhausted, and my eyes heavy, but my thoughts racing.
 

the voices in my head seem to never stop screaming at me.
 

I think of how much change I want in my life.
 

I think of my regrets, and I can't help but feel the ache in the pit of my

stomach.

I can't help but think "what if I were different?"
 

realizing that this early in the morning, there isn't much I can change.
 

that what's done. is done.

 

that when I get out of bed in a few hours it'll all just be the same.

 

that I will continue to carry on with my life, the regrets still nagging me.

 

knowing I can't do much about them.

 

I hide behind my fear of the future.

 

I let my unsure thoughts steer me.

 

I act on impulse, only to worry about it when I get the time.

 

when I am alone, in the dark under my covers with the clock ticking, reminding

 

me that I don't actually know where I am going.

 

not knowing what I want.