being alone is OK.

i think like many, i struggle with the fear of being alone. not because i think i need companionship, but rather it truly does scare me. the fear of my demons sneaking up on me, coming along to remind me of my past.

i like to think i'd actually enjoy the silence and being able to think for myself.

i wouldn't have the thoughts and opinions of outside spectators clouding my judgments...

except i worry i'll be forgotten before i'll ever be remembered.

or maybe i'll grow to love being alone and for some weird reason that scares me.

i once heard the canyon was a nice place to go and be alone.

I've obviously gone on drives alone, you're not a teenager if you haven't. but those don't compare.

this time was different. i wasn't sad, confused or angry. i drove up the canyon because for the first time in a really long time i realized how great i have it. i realized the beauty in so much of my simple, but perfectly okay life.

BEING ALONE ISN'T SO BAD.

there is plenty in my head to ponder, to question and to find answers to. so much i can truly appreciate here in the comfort of my silent car, but crowded thoughts.

being alone gives you time to pray.

to figure out why you don't care anymore.

or to figure out why you worry so much.

to think about the real things of life.

to think about all the stuff you love.

give you time to work out the important stuff.

to explore.discover.or create.

so yeah it's not too bad.

and i'm okay with being forgotten.

as long as i find the real me along the way.

-Dorothy Breeze